With the increase in move-aways

With the increase in move-aways over the last six years, we’ve added this paragraph to the section on recommended visitation schedule when parents live more than 100 miles apart:

“Because of the distance between tile non-custodial parent and his children, the custodial parent shall provide a computer equipped wit” high speed Internet connection, sound card, electronic sketch pad, and web camera, in order to permit the non-custodial parent to have visitation via the computer for a period of on a daily basis at _____a.m./p.m.

The custodial parent is also required to pay one half of the costs for the non-custodial parent to procure the necessary computer and/or equipment to accomplish the same. The electronic sketch pad can be used by the non-custodial parent and child in connection with the parent assisting in the “homework assignments.”

We may not like or want to see children moved away, but the fact is that they are begin moved away and we simply cannot (yet) win them all. So, we have be prepared the alternative.

I hope there is no misunderstanding

I hope there is no misunderstanding as to why I introduced a quick review on 100 books involving the Men’s movement. It was not presented as a guide to explain what one must do to resolve his situation but as a means for study to express positions of Men in general.

There is a pattern that is always present at the beginning of the Disenfranchising of a Father. It is heard from any newbie that joins a group or searches for help for his situation. The first thing stated is about their feeling that, “I never saw it coming”. A very short time after that they question, “How can they do such things, this is MY child too?”.

Within a couple of months the anger brings them to a pitch of, “I will fight this to the end, I will never give up!”. A few years after that, “I give up” is as common of a feeling as the feeling to “never give up” and the confusion is relentless.

During these entire periods that person feels as if he is alone fighting a terrible monster, when in fact, there are millions of others that endure the same cancer at the same time. One way to reduce the confusion is to understand what makes the system tick and how others have managed (or even failed). Without studying what others say about men and their experiences has the same effect as what a women would feel who has been brutally raped and has absolutely no support for her anguish. The result is self destruction without understanding.

Open the door for understanding and I would never claim that any one of them has “the answer”. The problem that we all face, including problems experienced by those loved ones who suffer every bit as much as the Disenfranchised Father himself, is much bigger than all the books ever written in history. We are now witnessing the destruction of the Family and the future of humanity. Those who do not understand what is happening will be the one’s to say, “I never saw it coming”.

Hello

my Name is Lyndze and I am married to a wonderful man named Robert, who has a not so wonderful ex who’s name I shall not mention! I have a beautiful step daughter named Abby, but I have never met her. Trust me though we are working on it. For those of you that live in Texas I posted the link to the Family Code in the links section or you can follow it here http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/Reports/BillsBy.aspx
This will tell you what the laws and rights over family court are. We have only just begun our plight for Abby and I am positive that she will get what is best for her, and unfortunately it isn’t her biological mother.

Abby is let to ride without a car seat at 21 months of age, she is brought around a registered sex offender whom we found searching here https://records.txdps.state.tx.us/DpsWebsite/index.aspx also in Texas, you can search the sex offender records. Abby is constantly left with her Aunt and Grandmother in substandard living conditions while her mother goes off to work or where ever and who ever she is with this month.

She has lived with at least 2 men since Abby was born. Did I mention she lives with her parents and shares a room with Abby? This is the g-rated version of this and there is much more. I just wanted to give out that link as I know it helped us alot, and introduce myself. All the best of luck to everyone. I will post more link as I get them.

Lyndze, wife to Robert, mom to Kevin, Abby and Andy

Out of all the people who I talked to

Out of all the people who I talked to in the past two days, one of them made the most since. This person told me about how their father let the kids be adopted by a stepfather. How there was no closure in their life, and they felt abandoned, unwanted, and most of all unloved.

This person spoke from experience, and to this day this persons’ feelings have not healed. I felt like I was only two inches tall, completely forgetting about what this person had already gone through, and still is.

The person I’m speaking of, is my wife. Without her empathetic nature, I would have made the biggest mistake of my life. She reminded me of the love I used to have in my heart, and would still have, if I would stop pounding my chest and look for solutions instead.

The simple fact is guys, is that every time I ask for an address or phone number so that I could write or speak to my son, the courts stated, we can’t give that to you, if you want the address or phone number, submit the proper paperwork to the courts. Well, when your ex lives 1700miles away, it puts a huge damper on your budget. They also told me, she wouldn’t get but a slap on the wrist anyway. Several times she moved, and remarried, did she notify the courts like the documents state? NO. The list goes on… I have to take out cash advance every time I need to pay my lawyer. BTW, when I do – I only apply for payday loans from direct lenders as this is much faster and safer way to get cash.

For my son, the child support payments are $497 a month. The arrearages are being disputed because of several discrepancies in the child support divisions paperwork. But, as it stands, they added $300 on top of the $497, you add it up. Now I have a daughter, who lives only 3 hours away. I get to see her whenever I want, my second ex never gives me any trouble on the matter. My child support payments for her, are, $262 a month. Bottom line, I pay $1059 in child support a month. I make net, $1537 a month, what do you think I have left over? How do you think my Christmas was this year, or any other for that matter? How do you think birthdays are around this house? I think you get the picture.

My wife now, has two children of her own, and we live with my mother because we can’t afford to live anywhere else.

Now you have facts, and now you know why it’s so hard for me to fight this, or try to get some time to try and go see my son. I’m sure there will people out there, who will find great pleasure to continue the unkind words towards me.
Go ahead and say what you want, continue showing people what a hearless troll you are. My wife and stepchildren will still love me, because I decided “NOT TO GIVE UP”. Someday, I hope my son will thank me for not giving up too.

To anybody else I forgot, THANK YOU for slapping me upside the head and knocking some sense into it. To the people who continue slandering me, I have a special place on my anatomy for you, so pucker up. For those who keep putting down the Marine Corps, what’s the matter, couldn’t get into the military, or is it a, don’t ask, don’t tell kind of thing?

I’m on skype if you want to talk to me and find out what I’m trying to do.

You say you are boy’s father

If so how can you just give him up? You can quit a job or a situation. But you can never give up on your child.

I will die fighting for the rights of my daughter to have her daddy. I will never give that away. I am the only person for the job.

I love that little girl and will not GIVE her to anyone. So if all you have said is true, Pull your head out of your butt and fight for your SON’S rights not yours. Sorry for being so blunt but it was necessary.

Rock

Is this from that guy who recently wrote

It gives me no pleasure, to say what I’m about to say. Tomorrow, I will request that my attorney draw up the necessary papers, on relinquishing all rights to my son.

Is this from that guy who recently wrote with such macho-ness about being a Marine?

It seems crazy that just being threatened to get arrested would lead to legally surrendering a son. Was a crime committed? No, apparently the Marine claims he has paid his child support.

Is the filing to avoid paying? If so, get out of here, coward!

Now if payments were being sent to the mother, why was there no contact with the son for TEN YEARS? What does a Marine need to track down his son?

Why no visits to the son? Maybe a restraining order, but the guy never mentioned that, but he seems hot-headed in his messages. It does not add up. When a gentleman offered to help out, the Marine got defensive and responded with no explanation.

Ten years have past! What exactly was done to prevent this terrible situation? What actions? What excuse could you possibly offer to the child without any shame?

Something is really, really wrong! Someone is about to lose all their self-respect, dignity, and integrity.

Do not give up your son! Fight, Marine!

If you surrender this final time, your life won’t be worth p*ss even if your body lives on.

Re: Giving Up!

And in the halls of the National Organization for Women there was much rejoicing.

I *would* suggest you contact the National Organization for Men, but wait, there isn’t one. And if someone responds “but there are several”, well, that’s the problem.

I know I’m just talking and all I can offer is my sympathy, which doesn’t help in the least.

That’s all I got from the various fathers’ groups I asked for help during my legal struggle. I’ve had to put the whole thing in God’s hands long ago and even He can’t help because of course, he gets no respect from the courts either.

Giving Up!

surrenderIt gives me no pleasure, to say what I’m about to say. Tomorrow, I will request that my attorney draw up the necessary papers, on relinquishing all rights to my son.

After producing proof of child support payments from my employer and paycheck stubs, they went ahead with arresting me for non-payment of child support.

My ex has been trying to adopt my son with her new husband for quite some time. She already had his name changed, so why am I not surprised the courts would hand her everything else on a silver platter.

Certain people talked about the “other side of the story”, well, there it is in all it’s glory.

The story is, reality, and I had to stand face to face with it today.

Constant harassment from the Attorney Generals Office had finally beat down my Honor, Pride, and respect for this country. The most precious possession a man can have, is his son, and they took that too.

I can no longer speak out, for I’m embarrassed to have served this country because it stands for nothing I used to believe in. So with that, I’m giving up, I surrender…

Heartbroken!

Well guys, they are going to arrest me today. I even hired an attorney, who showed proof that I’m paying child support to the Attorney Generals Office.

I showed them proof, that I have from my state job, check stubs and statements that I’m paying child support and they are still going to arrest me. The AG’s office even put on the warrant, a cash bond of $2000.00. I barely scraped enough together for the $1500.00 retainer fee for the attorney.

WHAT DO I DO NOW? How can this be happening? I’m being arrested for paying child support!!!!!!

Two things you can do in Texas

Two things you can do in Texas, as regards his situation, if he’s being denied access to the child, he can sue the mother for monetary damages.

As for custody, Texas is the only state with specific laws that allows the use of juries in deciding custody.

As a result, the odds of fathers getting custody are much higher there, though it can be more expensive than getting a decision from just a judge.

We are all so sorry to hear of your story

We are all so sorry to hear of your story but it is a common event in our amoral corrupt judicial system. It is a system consumed with a cancer where Disenfranchising Fathers becomes their priority in order to survive. There are billions of dollars involved and the last thing they care about is “the best interest of the children”.

It is that very same lie (The Best Interest Of Children) for which they were able to stand holier than though and rip your husband out of his son’s life. The days of proving unfit parents are now just a myth and the “best interest of the children” is so much easier to use because it is so vague. All a judge has to say to explain his feeble attempt at playing God is, “parents can’t get along, eliminate the Dad, that’s the best interest of the child” and the rubber stamp of abuse to our children is finalized. Unless you have unlimited funds and nothing but time on your hands to fight this cancer, your husband can only hope the damage that is being done, doesn’t get much worse. If the time and money is available, a motion to recuse the judge for it’s bias, then start over with the hope the next isn’t a bum (Good Luck, seldom happens).

More and more recognize this injustice but it is a cancer and there is little known to eliminate it. Time will tell how successful we will be in providing for the safety and security of our children but as of today, there are no cures. Be vigilant in exposing this type of injustice to anyone who will listen and someday enough will come to the aid of all children. This has only been present for the past decade but it was a long time growing so it will take a long time to heal.

Child support today must be viewed

Mark said, “No court will put someone in jail for non-payment of child support if the father is paying the child support.”

Of course not, but child support today must be viewed as it is set up to explain why many cannot pay the amount. The goal of the Child Support Enforcement (CSE) Program, which was established in 1975 under Title IV-D of the Social Security Act, is to ensure that children are financially supported by both their parents. Welfare reform legislation that President Clinton signed in 1996 provides strong measures for ensuring that children receive the support due them.

It was at this time that States were mandated to strictly follow guidelines. From that point on, and in a many instances for years before, the definition of child support was taken out of responsible parents’ hands, then grossly socially engineered. The effect opened the door for many responsible parents to be viewed as not financially supporting their children due to their inability to pay against those guidelines. With other tools such as the Bradley Amendment and/or specific local State legislation, a person easily becomes a deadbeat where jail or prison is too much the norm.

As a matter of fact, Mark’s ex faces the possibility of spending time in jail for which he wrote, “I don’t get much and it is not an amount that any court ordered, it is an order that my ex and I agreed on”. In all States, a child support order must be established to the guidelines and neither of the parents have a say as to what they would both agree upon. In most, the judges are discouraged to make adjustments away from their guidelines and if they do, it can only be accomplished with strict documentation. Judges are not willing to provide that type of documentation because it reflects badly on their performance.

Therefore, Mark’s ex could be several thousands of dollars behind in what the State considered should have been child support from the past. In addition, since no support order has ever been established, any payments that she made could be considered gifts and not offset the retroactive child support order that is often applied. It would be more than a possibility if any ADC or TANF money was involved after the divorce, it would be automatic. If the ex couldn’t come up with the cash, no matter how ridiculous the demand, she could do some time.

This is just one example as to how a person can be supporting their children yet wind up in jail because thousands of dollars could be at stake. Now this person not only is demanded to pay to the guidelines, but they also have arearages tagged on to the debt. Most cannot afford to clear up this type of mess and as hard as they try to support their child and send what they can, it is never enough. Detention is a choice just like the taking of licenses or impoundment of property. What good does this do to provide any type of support for a child?

The above discussed is an instance of someone paying child support but could very easily become a target faced with detention (although I’ve never heard it stick when the women is delinquent).

This is not the only scenario, I haven’t even touched on errors made by private and governmental child support enforcement agencies that have placed many in jail. Proof of payments made no difference because the proof was never accepted because the books by such agencies are the only acceptable means for submission.

The norm across this nation is to hold the threat of incarceration to get a payment no matter who is damaged and it is too often implemented. Pennsylvania cannot be much different than most States because they are governed by Income Shares Model guidelines (more truth about the ISM later).

The question comes to mind, “what can be done to bring this type of injustice to an end?”. Recognizing it is a start.

Chas

I’m sorry that you and your husband are going through so much

I’m sorry that you and your husband are going through so much. Have you and your husband tried to seek a counselors’ help? If people are suspecting that your son is being emotionally abused, it would benefit your son to be able to open up to that counselor and it would benefit you in court.

On the issues dealing with the courts and why they’re not taking action against this woman, I am at a loss for words. There are some people in this club who have information that is quite valuable to you regarding the law.

Name change and adoption

Could someone help me out? I have two questions, that are very serious to me right now.

  1. Can your childs’ name be changed, even if you are paying child support?
  2. Can your child be adopted, when your paying child support?

Thank you for responding.